Rantorific Monday

If you happen to spot a pregnant woman, who looks like she’s on the verge of giving birth, please don’t tell her she’s about ready to pop. It’s really annoying. Because you don’t know if she’s about ready to pop or not. And if she’s not, it’s really awkward to say that no, you’re due in a month or so. Because then you’re acknowledging that you’re huge and you will continue to be that way for a few more weeks.

In the last two days I’ve had two people tell me that it looks like I’m going to be having a really big baby. Hello, rudeness. Do I tell you it looks like you’ve been hitting the Pringles hard or that it looks like the Rogaine isn’t working? No, I don’t! Because you’re probably sensitive about your waistline and hairline (or lack thereof) and yet nobody considers that a pregnant woman might be sensitive about how huge her belly is or how swollen her ankles are. She knows and she doesn’t need it pointed out to her a million times a day.

So the next time you see a pregnant woman and you feel like you need to make a comment about the pregnancy, why not just say “Congratulations” or “I can’t wait to see that baby!” instead of “whoa Shamoo, looks like you’re about ready to drop a 9 pounder?” Otherwise, this pregnant woman might be forced to point out your physical flaws and you might not like how blunt I can be when I’m too pregnant to suffer fools gladly.

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