Things that must go

One of my favorite segments on the Radio from Hell program on X96 is called “Things that must go.” The DJs read a list from listeners about what they think should go. Other days the DJs themselves have their own list. It’s very funny and I thought I might add my own.

1 – Tainted produce. How am I supposed to eat healthy food if every time I turn around something else has salmonella? First it was spinach, now it’s tomatoes. I’m afraid to eat anything lately other than Cheetos. They might not be healthy but at least they’re not covered in poop. America, seriously, wake up and think about where your food is coming from and why our produce keeps getting tainted with salmonella.

2 – People who pull out in front of me and then drive slowly. Especially if there was a mile of open road behind me.


3 – People who drive slow in the fast lane. In case you missed it in driver’s ed, the left lane is for passing people. Not for parking you slow butt in for miles on end. Get out of the way.

4 – People asking me when I’m going to give birth. How the eff could I know that? I’m not being induced and I’m not having a scheduled c-section so your guess is as good as mine.

5 – Junk mail. And all other needless trash that is filling up our landfills and destroying our forests. I don’t want your car insurance/credit card/ loan offers, so stop wasting your money and the earth’s resources sending me that crap.

6 – Our economy sucking so much that businesses I like keep closing. When I graduated from high school 12 years ago businesses were popping up all over and I could have gotten a job anywhere I wanted. Can we all admit now that all of you who voted for GWB made a huge, monstrous, disastrous mistake? Twice.

7 – Gas prices. Everything about gas prices like people complaining about them, paying them, not having auto industry standards that require higher miles per gallon on cars, Bush being friends with the Saudi Arabian Prince and having a personal stake in oil profits, and, especially living in Utah, not having that many alternatives to driving a car (although it is improving).

8 – My kids wanting to snack all day long and then refusing to eat their dinner at night. And then whining at me all day long for snacks when I tell them no.

9 – School lunches. Everything is so prepackaged it’s ridiculous. Is it better for our children’s lunches be made by the lunch lady we do know or in a factory full of people we don’t?

And finally….

10 – Family reunification being the primary goal of the family court system. It sounds good in theory, but what should be tantamount is what is in the best interest of the child. And living a life full of chaos where their parents have a million chances to regain custody no matter how many times they abuse and neglect their children isn’t in their best interest.

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