When Cole was just a precious six weeks old, he came down with RSV and was hospitalized for a week. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I remember having to untangle him from the many tubes and wires just to nurse him. The only place they could put the IV was in his tiny little baby head. I’ve never seen anything so sad. I slept every night on that horrible hospital bed/couch and allowed a whole host of nurses and respiratory therapists poke him, suck mucus out of him, etc. in the hopes it would make him better. I would have gladly switched places with him in a heartbeat.
On January 4, 2004, right exactly at midnight, my son Cole was born. He was four weeks early and I had never experienced a night more terrifying in my life. After being in labor all day and told by the very “competent” nurses at the hospital that I wasn’t in labor and sent home, I did most of my hard labor perched on my toilet. It was the only comfortable place for me to sit. Which came in very handy when I started bleeding profusely. I have never known pain like that before and I screamed at the top of my lungs during my contractions. I knew I had to go back to the hospital because if I wasn’t in labor, something was wrong. I was right and Cole was born 20 minutes after I got there. I had no drugs. My placenta had abrupted. I also could have bled to death if I had listened to the nurses. That night marked the last time I would listen to another health care professional again instead of my gut.
But it wasn’t about me. And I would have endured any pain to bring this darling boy into the world and in my life. My love for him was immediate and I remember our quiet moments of bonding in the hospital. I thought I could never love a child as much as I loved my first and I was wrong. Like the grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day.
In the five years the world has been graced with his presence, Cole has brought so much joy into our lives. He was an exceptionally sweet baby. He had a gentle nature, much more so than his older sister who has always embraced life with full gusto. He was a Daddy’s boy from the start and my toe-haired sweetheart.
The best thing about Cole is the funny things he says. I love the way he looks at the world and how he figures things out. His commentary on life always keeps my laughing. I wish I could get inside his little brain and see the world from his eyes. He is exceptionally smart and I’m always amazed with him. He is the puzzle master and can put together puzzles adults have a hard time with. He has an incredible eye for shapes. Hopefully he does much better in Geometry than I.
Since his baby brother was born, Cole has been a great sport. He loves his brother unabashedly and has been very patient with not being the youngest in the family any more. He hasn’t gotten as much attention as he used to in the last six months and for the most part has adjusted beautifully.
Being Cole’s mother is a privilege. Being his mother has made me a better person. His life has been a blessing to our family. I only hope that I continue to raise him into an honorable young man.
Happy Birthday Cole, my sweet little boy. I can’t imagine my life without you.