To salad or not to salad

I hate salad. More specifically I hate iceberg lettuce. It tastes like nothing and has no nutritional value. I don’t know why people eat it. I’ve had salad foist upon me my whole life. I’ve been seen as a big weirdo because I refuse to eat salad. I do, however, like romaine lettuce and spinach. But I don’t eat very often.

With this new year I’ve made some resolutions to be healthier, which includes eating healthier. Eating salad for me is a huge challenge and obstacle to this resolution. But I refuse to eat iceberg lettuce. You can’t make me! If I taste one inkling of lettuce on a sandwich, my gag reflex will reject it. So what’s a girl to do? Well, I’ve tried to eat salads that have green leafy romaine instead of gag-worthy iceberg. I even ate romaine and spinach salad at dinner on Sunday. You don’t even know….this is a huge leap forward for me.
Yesterday there was a luncheon at work. One of my co-workers brought in a salad. It was spinach and some other stuff. I passed it up, like the wimp I am. As I sat there eating the rest of my food (which was small piece of chicken and a plate filled with fruit and veggies), I berated myself mentally for not taking the salad. “What is wrong with you? Eat the damn salad!” was all I kept saying to myself. Then my other co-workers started talking about the salad and telling it’s maker how good it was. I said out loud, “I should have eaten some.” I sat there feeling guilty and like a huge wimp. Then my co-worker started telling everyone what was in the salad. Nothing sounded that bad to me. Spinach? Love it. Red grapes? Love it? Swiss cheese? Love it? Italian dressing? Love it. Honey Roasted Peanuts? Lo-uv-uh-uh, Say what? Peanuts?! I AM DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS! Thank goodness I didn’t take any of the salad! What was I thinking. If I had listened to the hater inside, I could have ended up in the ER for the second time in two weeks. Lesson learned…I will not listen to the hater inside. She can just shut up!
And just as a side note….who puts peanuts in a salad? Weird? Right? That’s weird, right? It’s not just me, right?
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2 thoughts on “To salad or not to salad

  1. Peanuts are the new almond apparently. I’m impartial either way. I really don’t realize how lucky I am that I have no known allergies. Good thing you listened to your little Jiminy Cricket inside!

  2. Peanutes and other protein sources have been added to salads for a long time now–for vegetarians, it’s essential to get as much protein in the diet as possible, and I think restaurants started balancing out the food groups in salads accordingly. Or maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions, but I’m pretty sure nuts have been thrown in for a long long time. How long has the Waldorf salad been around? A key ingredient in that is walnuts.

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