I’m feeling a little down tonight. I don’t know why. I have so many things to be grateful for. My loving/loyal/committed husband, my three beautiful children, the roof over my head, the food in my kitchen, our collective employment, and family and friends who love me in spite of myself.
So why am I down? Why am I feeling a little ho hum? Without going into too many details, I’m trying to “get over” something right now and I’m trying to live my life accepting something that has never been and never will be. I wish I could go into details, but that really wouldn’t be fair.
I’m just tired of having my heart broken, I’m tired of being ignored, and I’m tired of not being loved in the way I need to be loved. I’ll never understand why I was never good enough for that love. Or maybe that person was never good enough to love me. I once heard this story that back in Old Testament times, if you killed someone, you were sentenced to drag that person around on your back the rest of your life. This would eventually kill you. Well, I’m tired of dragging this burden and I have decided to lay it down.
Yes, lay it down.
I’m done. Things will never change. I have to lay this down before it kills me. I refuse to let this interfere with my happiness any more. I choose to be happy and I’m sorry that you will never be apart of it.
*This post is not about my husband. Just thought I’d FYI ya.