The Gym – Part 2

I am a member of a popular Gym chain. This allows me to go to several gyms. I go to one in Layton on Tuesday night because I like the yoga instructor. I go to Roy most of the time because it’s the closest to my house. And I go to the one in downtown Ogden on the nights I hit the gym after work.

I’ve noticed there is a quite an eclectic group of people who go to the gym. Of course you’ve got the gym bunnies who are young with hot bodies who are trying to maintain those bodies. You’ve got the muscle heads who lift weights for hours at a time. You’ve got the athletes who train for marathons, decathlons, Iron Mans, you name it. You’ve got the old people who are trying to bring down their cholesterol. And you’ve got the over-weight people, like me, who are trying to get back into shape after years of neglect.
And then at my gym you’ve got King Tool, the tattoo brigade, and Captain Crazy.
Meet King Tool. He’s the young 20-something, with little man’s syndrome (he’s seriously shorter than me), whose biceps are twice his height. He’s got a spray-on tan and stares lovingly into the mirror with every weight he lifts. And in between reps he takes time out to hit on all the girls in bare midriffs. Most of them are polite. He always leaves dejected.
Next, meet the tattoo brigade. This is a group of about 8 guys who are all heavily tatted up with piercings and ear gauges who lift weights together. Normally you’d think that guys like this would be too cool to go to the gym, but they’re not. Which means they’re probably posers. They have arm sleeve tattoos, some have tattoos on their necks, and some even on their skulls. They spot each other and come and go as a pack. Best of all, they walk around the gym like they’re better than everyone else.
And my personal favorite, Captain Crazy. I watch him rock out to the tunes on his iPod in between reps for weight lifting. When the song is especially good he plays the air guitar. I’m not kidding. I keep trying to catch his eye so he can see the crazy look I’m giving him. I want to yell at him, “Hey! Stop it! Or they’ll cart you off to the looney bin.” But I can’t, because he has his ear buds in and he can’t hear me. At least it is entertaining.
I love the gym. If not for the health benefits, but for the people watching.

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