Today my little sunshine boy turns 3. I can’t believe it. The last three years have gone by so fast.
He came into my life when I desperately needed something to look forward to, something to give me hope, something worth living for.
I found I was pregnant with him very early. We’re talking like maybe 5 weeks along. On a whim I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. The hubs and I were very happy. With one boy and one girl already, we thought we were done. But we both recognized in an instant the gift our family was being given.
Later that day I went to the hospital to visit my dying mother. It was the first time she had allowed us to see her in a couple of months because going through chemo took so much out of her she had no energy for visitors. Having to interact with people literally caused her pain, and I didn’t want her in more pain than she was already in.
I walked into her room and kissed her on the cheek. She woke up and said, “oh, it’s you. I love you!” We talked for a long time. She wanted me to update her on every new aspect of my life. My new job, how the kids were, etc. She kept asking me and finally I ran out of things to say. I didn’t know if I would ever get another moment to tell her, so I told her that I was pregnant. The same day I found out. I’ve never done that before. Somehow I knew that this pregnancy was going to be fine and I could tell her. She told me that she would pick us out the best one and she would see the baby on the way up.
Then mom blabbed it to my sister and brother, and pretty soon I had to tell my Dad. She was pretty high on morphine and I didn’t want him to find out from my Mom and then think she was just having another hallucination.
She died three weeks later.
I don’t know how I got through the funeral. I don’t know how you get through those days. You have no choice. You just have to.
It just so happened that my 20 weeks fell on my Mom’s birthday. I could have had my 20 week ultrasound a week before that, but I chose to do it on my mother’s birthday. I figured my family could use some good news that day.
That day in the ultrasound room with just the hubs, me, and the ultrasound tech, the spirit was so strong. I could feel my mother’s presence in the room. The tech told us it was a beautiful baby boy, and I cried. We had already decided that no matter what the baby would be named after my Mom. Being a boy, he was named her maiden name.
June 20, 2008 was one of the best days of my life. My sister, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law Emily were all in the room with me and the hubs when this little miracle baby was born. He was a full 3 pounds bigger than my last child (and boy, did I feel every pound). He was so beautiful and instantly, instantly loved.
In the last 3 years, he has brought so much happiness into our lives. He really is our little sunshine boy. He’s the happiest child I’ve ever known. His older sister and brother adore him and look out for him. He loves to have “nuggle” (snuggle) time with me and that is some of my most tender moments.
My mom promised to pick out the best one for us, and she really did.
Happy Birthday sweet baby D!